Sad Poems

THINKING OF YOU 

I think and I think but here I sit,
In front of my computer screen, dimly lit.
I peruse my thoughts in search of her,
And when discovered, my thoughts just wander.

I love her with all of my heart,
But I don't know how to tell her. Where do I start?
So I sit and I think in front of my screen,
But my thoughts seem so meager and lean.

I want her to know how much she means to me,
But it's hard being in love and making the other see.
I felt this way for quite some time now,
And I know I need to tell her but I don't know how.

One idea works in my head,
But I know that it'd be shot down dead.
The perfect scenerio, it's in my mind,
But sifting it out, it seems too hard to find.

I interact with her from behind a mask,
But I know, at this point, removing it'll be a task.
I think and I think but what I search for evades me,
And so I sit with my computer screen in front of me.

I can only think about both of us, together,
And how I'd treat her, delicate as a feather,
Dropped from an extint bird, seemed to be lost in time,
That needs careful attention and can only be mine.

I just want her to realize that she's the world to me
And that she's the only one that will ever be.
I want to hold her in my arms forever,
Sharing our warmth, letting go... never.

I love her with all of my heart,
But I don't know how to tell her. Where do I start?
I want her to know. This I know is true.
But it's hard to say when I'm lost in her eyes of blue.

I can't tell her, my love is too strong,
Besides, What if she hates me? What if I'm wrong?

So now I sit here, sad and blue,
Wishing we could speak words that lovers do.

I love her with all of my heart,
I want to be with her and never part.
I hope she returns my love
So I prey to the stars above.
I only wish I could make her see
How much her love truly means to me.

A SILENT TEAR 

Silent words across a screen.
How could they mean so much to me.
I promised myself I would not cry.
Then a silent tear falls from my eye.

What did I do, what did I say,
To make you change your mind, the day you went away.
Everyday, waiting for a sign
To let me know, you might still want to be mind.

And other day comes and goes,
I want to write, but I can't, I know.
You said you needed me more than I needed you,
Why would you say that, if you knew it wasn't true?

Why did you say you loved me?
Then turn around and set me free?
I love you and want you,
But I know I can't make you love me.

AFTER YOU'RE GONE 

After you're gone
How will I go to work?
Who will I phone
To talk through the silent evening
After you're gone?

You're part of my life,
A piece of my tapestry.
On what rock
Will my castle rest
After you're gone?

Time will turn
But without hands.
How will I eat
Without my day on your dish
After you're gone?

You're the only place
I can put myself.
No hopes or dreams
Can fill my tumbling days
After you're gone.

RIGHT HERE WAITING FOR YOU 

Ocean's apart
Day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice
On the line
But it doesn't start the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever?

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
And how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted
All the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter
I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby?
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
And how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby?
You've got me going crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
And how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you.

FORGIVENESS 

You told me you loved me.

You lay with him.
His hands upon you
And more-
Because you wanted...

But you told me you loved me.

To you, it was not a sin.
You were newly free.
In your mind there was nothing to forgive.
In mine- I trusted you.

Because you told me you loved me.

Your decision
Slashed a gaping, bleeding wound.
I could not sleep the night after you told me
But I loved you for your honesty...
The questions kept coming.

To me, our love was a crystal clear pool
Fed by the springs of pure love.
Deep- able to see the tiniest pebbles at the bottom.
You threw putrid mud in that pool.
You dirtied it, sullied it, clouded it
Made it smell.

The questions kept coming.
Because you told me you loved me.

The tears would not stop.
Because you told me you loved me.

The unbearable pain that had to be borne would not stop.
Because you told me you loved me.

So I got a pump for the pool.
To clean it of the filth by feeding from my pure spring
To find a way to make the pool clear again

Because you told me you loved me.

Because after all the questions, I believed you
And I set the pump to work
In spite of the blood you caused to flow
In spite of the putrid mud
In spite of the pain

I asked myself if I truly loved you.
The answer was, ?Yes?.
I asked if I understood you.
The answer was, ?I have to if love is to survive.?
I asked if I could still trust you.
The answer was ?Yes?
Because you told me you loved me.

So I put myself in your place
Because you were newly free.
Despite the pain, despite the blood, despite myself
Because what is love if you cannot give and understand?
So I gave and understood.
...And forgave

To forgive is supposed to be divine.
I am not a God.
But if I cannot forgive
I am not human.

Because you said you loved me.
...Because I love you

Though you thought
It was not a matter to be forgiven
If I did not forgive
If I did not understand
Love would have been killed
There was no option
Not if I believed in love
Not if I believed in you

You killed 'the trust'
But that was my trust, not yours.
Not once did you kill
But again
And again
And again
I bore the unbearable pain that tried my soul

Because you told me you loved me.

Because, deep down, I still trusted you.
I believed in you.
I believed in your heart of hearts.
I believed you were not, deep down, lying to me

When you said you loved me.

Its been a while.
The gaping wound has healed, though there is a scar.
The tears still come sometimes, unbidden, unseen by you
But the love I have for you has not died.
The pool is clear

I m glad I forgave you.
Glad that we are still together
That I made the effort to understand you
That we can smile and laugh together

Because I love you
Because you said you love me.
Nothing can be killed.
I believe....